Somebody to Love Read online

I knocked, glancing up and down the hall at a few female students coming and going. A couple of them stared at me openly. With the late hour they probably assumed the nature of my visit was a booty call.

  Sweat leaked down my back under their scrutiny. My reputation was the cause of their stares, had to be. And that made me want to run. To be seen with Kirby, this late at night, in a dorm no less, would associate her with that part of me. It might bring with it bad attention, whispers about her, or even things being said to her face. Girls were mean, especially to other girls. Kirby didn’t deserve that.

  I was a half second from making my escape when the door opened a few inches. Everything else immediately faded away like it always did when she was around me.

  “Hi.” Her soft voice breezed into my ears like the colors of the wind.

  Seeing her made how much I’d missed her even more evident. It was clear how wrapped up in her I was becoming, how it was going to send me tumbling face first into a place I didn’t need to be. I kept trying to make it stop, to not feel, but how could I when she made me feel everything?

  “Hey, Sunshine.” Her hair was in a pony tail, showing off her beautiful and blemish free face.

  There was so much I wanted to say to her, but only one thing that needed to be.

  “I’m sorry.”

  My mouth hung open, frozen in the midst of speaking. I’d thought those two words, but it hadn’t been my voice that carried them out.

  After picking up my jaw, I tipped my head to the side in confusion. “Why are you sorry, Sunshine?”

  She opened the door wider and stepped to the side for me to enter. When I did she shut the door behind us and leaned against it with her hands tucked behind her back.

  I faced her, waiting patiently for her answer.

  She looked at my chest while she spoke. “For not answering your calls, and your texts. For not coming to the library. It was mean.”

  I closed a little of the space between us because there was just too much of it. “Why did you do that? Or why didn’t you rather?”

  “Because,” she glanced at my face briefly, “I was mad…at first, but then…I was just embarrassed.” Another glance at me and she repositioned her arms. One she draped across her belly and the other she hung at her side.

  I took advantage of the free hand, moved mine closer to it until my fingers brushed hers lightly. I looped just one of our fingers together; my index around her pinky, hoping she’d look at me.

  Her gaze stayed glued to her Pikachu slippers.

  “Embarrassed?”

  She nodded. “You were right. About my sisters. About everything. And I yelled at you.”

  She hadn’t really yelled. Her voice was so soft I wasn’t sure she was capable.

  “It’s okay. You were upset. It’s okay to express that.”

  Finally, her eyes lifted to mine and it made me smile. She had this way of looking at me, like I was something amazing. I wasn’t sure anyone had ever looked at me that way.

  Her dimple made an appearance and her eyes moved away for a few seconds. They came back though. “I don’t want them to control me. I hate it. I tell them what I want but it’s like they don’t hear me.”

  “Then you have to make them.”

  Back and forth her eyes moved, searching mine. “How?”

  There was a noise behind me and I looked over my shoulder. Esme exited the bathroom dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, drying her hair. “Oh, hey Keem.”

  My hand slipped free of Kirby’s and I scratched beneath my ear. I’d figured she was out. “Hey, Esme.”

  She sat on her bed, which there was only one of. Only one desk too. Made me miss my single room.

  I turned to Kirby again and a frown was on her face. Not one of anger, she looked kind of annoyed.

  “You okay?”

  Her eyes flickered to me and flashed a small smile. “Yeah.”

  “Were ya’ll getting ready to go to sleep? I don’t want to keep ya’ll up.”

  She was quick to shake her head. “You’re not. Right, Es?”

  Esme was pulling a sleep mask over her face when I looked at her. “Speak for yourself. I have a class at the ass crack of dawn.”

  I chuckled, facing Kirby. She was frowning again, this time at Esme.

  “Maybe we should go in the hall.”

  The frown turned upside down and she nodded.

  I shut the door behind us and she again leaned against it. “I have a pretty early class myself,” I told her. “I should probably go.”

  Bye bye smile. She stared at her shoes. “Okay.”

  It wasn’t that I wanted to leave, but with the possibility of gossipers lurking…

  “Hey,” I said, lifting her chin. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

  There was that gorgeous grin. “Yes.”

  I hesitated for a second or two, then pulled her into a hug. “Can you please not go ghost on me anymore?”

  I felt her lungs expand in a deep breath. “I promise.”

  Chapter Twenty - Two

  ~ Kirby ~

  “I said I was sorry.”

  I made a face at Esme. We were in the cafeteria. I wasn’t really upset with her, anymore, even though Keem might have stayed longer the night before if she hadn’t said she was sleepy or mentioned that early class.

  I was so happy to be around him again. I’d missed him so much it hurt, but I’d felt so stupid for the way I’d acted when he’d only been trying to help. Esme had talked to me that day after he left, though I hadn’t needed her to. I’d already realized my mistake, only too late. It was even dumber of me to ever believe he’d be anything but understanding, like always.

  I had to stop doing stupid things. That’s why Rai and Saige thought I couldn’t take care of myself. Keem and I hadn’t gotten to talk about how to make them listen. I didn’t know how to stand up to them. I’d never stood up to anyone in my life.

  Plus, it wasn’t like they were trying to control me. They wanted what was best, I understood that. But I needed them to understand that I knew what was best for me too. Like animation, and freedom, and Keem.

  Es caught my attention when she leaned into my line of sight with her lip poked out. “Forgive me? Pwease?”

  I giggled at her baby voice. “Yes, I forgive you.”

  “Yay.” She squeezed me tight from the side.

  “Owww.” I whined and laughed at the same time. She could be such a goof ball.

  Smiling, she turned back to her lunch. Just then a guy walked by, a really cute light skinned one, and winked at Esme.

  She rolled her eyes at him, but after he was no longer looking, followed him with her gaze.

  I wondered what that was about. Es hadn’t mentioned any new guy. I was about to ask who it was, but she beat me to the punch with a question of her own.

  “What’s on the schedule for you and Mr. Keem today?”

  “Library,” I replied, spearing a piece of smoked tofu.

  “Again?” She rolled her eyes. “All you two ever do is study. This is college, you’re supposed to be having fun.”

  I raised a brow at her while I chewed. “Um, I think you have that backwards.”

  She kissed her teeth while swiping a forkful of my salad. “You know what I mean. Education is great and all, but there’s so much more of college to experience than lecture halls and libraries. You guys should do something fun.”

  “We went to the movies.”

  Her face deadpanned then she shook her head. “That’s so middle school. I mean fun adult stuff.”

  “Like what?”

  My question went unanswered for thirty seconds at least while Esme checked a message on her phone. She looked up from the device and across the room to where the cute guy had sat at a table by himself. He was staring right at her, his own phone in his hand and a smile on his face.

  Es sent another eye roll his way. I didn’t understand why she was acting so unbothered. He was cute and seemed to really like her.

  “W
ho’s that, Es?”

  She gave a dismissive wave in his direction. “Gordon from biology. I slept with the guy once and now he’s obsessed with me.”

  I gasped so loud I was sure the whole cafeteria heard me. Doing my best not to glance at Gordon, I whispered to Es, “You had sex with him?”

  She shook her head at me. “It’s not a big deal.” After another bite of my salad, she tossed a smirk my way. “You know, that’s a fun adult thing to do.”

  I leaned away from her, sure my eyes were as big as saucers.

  She just cackled, slapping her knee. “I’m kidding, Kirb, geez. Pick your jaw up off the floor.”

  I made a face at her then moved my salad when she went for it again. “Eat your own lunch.”

  “But yours is yummier!”

  I stuck my tongue out at her and sipped from my Pink Lady Kombucha. “He’s really obsessed with you?”

  She threw back her head with a frustrated sigh. “Yes. This always happens. I don’t know what it is. Not to sound full of myself, but my vaj must be magic or something because one taste and I can’t shake them. I’m cursed.”

  “No such thing.” I chanced a glance in Gordon’s direction and he was still looking this way. “Maybe he just really likes you.”

  “He doesn’t know me to like me. We studied together once. It was just sex, for me anyway.” She dropped her head to the table for a few seconds then pushed back her hair. “There’s only one way to solve this problem. I’m going to have to abstain from sex. And boys, period.” She glanced over at Gordon and sighed. “No matter how fine.”

  “Well, maybe you should give him a chance. Maybe you’ll fall in love. You never know.”

  After a long and very exaggerated eye roll, she shook her head. “Not gonna happen. I have my entire college life planned down to the second. No time for love.”

  I lifted a brow at her. “But there’s time for parties?”

  She flashed a big grin. “There’s always time for parties.”

  ~ ♥ ~

  The rest of my day followed pretty much the same routine. I finished my classes then had study time with Keem and afterwards he walked me to Esme’s dorm. Maybe she was right, and we did need to spice things up some. Seeing him outside of the library was fun. The only question was what to do. I didn’t really have any ideas of fun adult things.

  I blushed at the thought of that fun adult thing Es had mentioned. Mostly because of the fantasy that came to mind. My temperature rose and my body got tingly all over like it always did when I thought of Keem touching me in that way. I wondered if that day would ever come.

  My phone jolted my heart and I almost fell out of bed. Heat burned my cheeks like I’d been caught doing something wrong.

  It wasn’t the normal tone from my phone, but the one for Face Time. I grabbed it from my night stand. The face on the screen made me smile so big I came close to breaking a tooth. I quickly answered it.

  “Sissy!”

  Noelle smiled wide at me, glowing beautifully. I’d always thought she was so pretty. The prettiest of us all. “Hey! How’s my baby sis.”

  “Good. How are you? Where are you?”

  Instead of answering she turned her phone around, pointing it toward a window.

  I gasped. Tears brimmed my eyes but didn’t fall. “Barbados?”

  Her face filled the screen again. “What can I say, I missed home.”

  That word caused a tear to escape. “Me too.”

  She was still smiling but her eyes seemed a little sad. “I want you to come visit, next summer.”

  “Really?”

  “Of course. My husband is looking forward to meeting you.”

  I gasped again, this time clamping my hand over my mouth. I glanced behind me at my closed bedroom door then whispered, “‘Husband? You’re married? Does Raina know?”

  Noelle rolled her eyes. “Of course not.”

  “She’s gonna freak.”

  “Ya think? But I don’t care. I’m grown now, she’s not in charge of my life anymore.”

  I wish I could’ve said the same for myself.

  “So…” Noelle was smiling again. “How’s school? Met any cute boys?”

  My eyes immediately dropped to my comforter. “Not really.”

  Noelle’s loud laughter filled the room. “You’re a terrible liar. What’s his name?”

  Was I that obvious?

  “Come on, Kirb. You can tell me, I’m not like our big sisters.” Noelle was the youngest after me. In fact, she was only two years older, which is why I knew Raina would throw a fit when she found out about Noelle’s husband.

  “Haikeem.” I blushed just saying his name.

  “Ooooohhhh, sounds sexy. Is he sexy?”

  I giggled, blushing harder. “So sexy.”

  “Look at my baby sis, got her a sexy boyfriend.”

  My heart pretty much collapsed at that. “He’s not…we’re only friends.”

  “But you like him?”

  I nodded.

  “What’s he like?”

  “Nice, sweet, understanding…perfect.”

  “Awww. I bet he likes you too.”

  Resting my chin on my fist, I sighed. “Maybe.”

  “No maybes about it. He’d be a fool not to see how amazing you are.”

  I smiled. Not just at her words, but because I was happy to be talking to her. It wasn’t very often that she called, and I missed having her around. “Are you coming for Thanksgiving this year? Or Christmas?” I held my breath for her answer, hoping this time it would be different.”

  “Not unless you’re ready for World War III in the Ashford household.”

  I released the breath, not looking at her.

  “Please don’t be sad, baby sis. You’ll be on your own soon and you can come visit me any time you want.”

  With the tips of my fingers, I brushed my tears away. “She’s never gonna let me go, Noelle. You’re not like me. You’re normal.”

  “First of all, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are normal. And second, Rai’s controlling ass didn’t let me go, I left. The only thing I regret is not taking you with me. But you will eventually be on your own one day.”

  When I remained silent, she let out a hard sigh. “You know, Kirby, sometimes I wonder if you even want to leave.”

  My gaze flew to her and I frowned. “Why would you say that?”

  “How many times did I try to get you to hang with me and my friends when we were younger? You’d always cry that Rai wouldn’t let you before you even asked. And yeah, you got her to agree to let you go to university, and I’m proud of that. But besides that, I don’t see you fighting too hard to get out from under her thumb. You’ve always just gone along with what she says, Saige too. What about animation? You begged me for that tablet. Why isn’t it your major? What about opening your studio in Daddy’s honor?”

  I dropped my gaze, chest tightening at the mention of Daddy.

  “What I think is that you’re scared. You don’t want Rai in control, but at the same time, if she is then you don’t have to face your biggest fear, the unknown. It’s okay to be scared, you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t. But you can’t let your condition own you. You’re strong enough to conquer it. I know you are.”

  Her words were almost identical to Keem’s. Were they both right? Was I just a coward? I glanced at Noelle briefly. “I’ll talk to Rai about switching majors next semester.”

  “Don’t just say it, Kirby.”

  “I’m not. I’ll talk to her.”

  “Good. When you make your first movie I want to voice a character.”

  I looked up to see her smiling. I smiled too.

  “You know, Keem said some of the same stuff you did. About Rai and Saige.”

  Her smile brightened even more. “Well, now you’ve gotta marry him.”

  Chapter Twenty - Three

  ~ Haikeem ~

  It had started to drizzle while we were in the library. I’d forgotten to check the weath
er this morning and wasn’t really dressed for it.

  Droplets of rain pattered on the ground, a few splashed on my face. I looked over at Kirby. “It’s gonna be pouring soon, I should get you home.”

  Her bottom lip poked out slightly. “I don’t want to go yet, I love the rain.” She looked up at the darkening sky with a huge grin. “Especially in the spring. Without it no flowers or trees would grow.” She turned her smile to me, tugging at my heart. “What’s your favorite season?”

  “This one. I love to see the autumn leaves change colors.”

  “They are pretty. Especially the yellow ones.”

  I looked over at her and frowned a bit, a little disappointed in myself that I hadn’t noticed before now. “No yellow today?”

  She looked down at her clothes then her dimple peeked out.

  Her blush kinda confused me, but I let it go. Maybe she’d just forgotten.

  Taking the string of her hoodie in my hand, I stopped us then stepped in front of her. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. I don’t think a day has gone by when you weren’t wearing something yellow. Why do you love that color so much?”

  Her smile dropped away and her gaze, growing distant, focused over my shoulder.

  I watched her expression and played with her string, hoping nothing I’d said had upset her. I was about to suggest dropping the subject when her gaze met mine again.

  “When I was little, before we left Barbados, I used to go on long walks in the park with my dad, all the time. There were these flowers, yellow ones, I don’t even know what they were called. Every time we passed them he’d stop and pick one, put it in my hair, and say ‘a beautiful flower, for my beautiful flower’.”

  Tears brimmed her eyes when her story was finished, and her lip quivered. I could only guess that memory brought her some sort of pain. I was curious of that story, of why speaking of her father brought so much sadness to those beautiful eyes. I wouldn’t press it though. The last thing I wanted to do was make her cry.

  I pulled her to me and hugged her tight. While I may not have known what caused her pain, I’d do my best to ease it. I held her there for a few minutes until the rain started to fall harder.

  “We should get inside before we get soaked.”